Very Cavallari: Kristin, You're Rich (S2E5)

Kristin has a bunch of friends coming in and they are staying at their old house which hasn’t sold. I am in shock that no one has purchased their former home, which led me to read about how difficult it is to sell luxury real estate in Nashville. The list price was $7.9 and it is now listed at $6.9 million. Ouch.

Pretty sure Kristin telling Jay she wants to make a decision (Pantone colors for Little James camo) and for him to validate said decision is the secret to a long term relationship.

I’m done reporting on Stone and Brittainy until they do something worth mentioning.

Justin (her hair colorist) is a true Angelino because he is AGHAST at the size of her home. He then has a “Kristin, you’re RICH” moment that sky rockets him to my most loved list. Girl talk ensues with the Palm Springs crew. They take shots out of mini moscow mule copper cups which I obviously want and Pip procedes to get wasted. Jay is praised for taking care of the kids and picking up her call which displays the #patriarchy perfectly and Kristin is honest that they are in a rut and things are never perfect. Foreshadowing for the fight they have later this episode.

Colby is happy because she booked a show. I could not be less interested in her career outside of Uncommon James. Brittainy perfectly shows why open floor plans are a disaster because she has to go outside with Matt, in public, to clear the air with him. Matt asks if she reacts to him aggressively because he is a man, Brittainy gets triggered, the air is not clear.

Give me this drink fridge.

Jay has been drinking all day and is being antisocial which displeases Kristin. Jay makes some cracks about their finances and that is when things take a turn. Jay goes to hide, comes back, and then they fight over beverages? They literally kiss and make up. Kelly talks about freezing her eggs and gets a pep talk from Biegs, the other single woman present.

Everyone goes to Colby’s show, including Stone and Brittainy, which weirds the rest of the team out.

Kristin and Jay debrief the trip and he admits he could have been better. Scenes from next week show an ex of Kelly’s who is also her client and more Brittainy drama!!!!!!!!!!!

Very Cavallari: Things Get XXX (S2E5)

We find Kristin still in Laguna, FaceTiming with Jay while strolling down the beach, as one does. She is also going to see her dad who it sounds like is somewhat isolated/estranged from her. He looks great, tbh, and they talk about Laguna Beach. Kristin apparently didn’t get a heads up she was the villain which is ironic because that’s why they brought her back to The Hills.

In the warehouse, Matt admits it is hard to keep up with inventory and the growth of the business. “Shipping is so complex” is the best statement Brittainy has ever said, right before she tells Matt he is moving to customer service and being replaced. Anticlimactic.

We learn a lot about grief as Kristin talks about how her dad is processing death, how it has set in more for Kristin since she went back home and Jay is a man of few but supportive words. The scene ends with Kristin crying which we’ve only seen as she yells about her business. This depth! I know the show is meant to be light but it’s definitely a reminder that Kristin is, in fact, just a person.

Jay is now incubating eggs now. It is a 21 day process, something I never thought I would learn from Jay Cutler. He is the perfect example of what happens when someone has too much money and too much free time and it brings me joy.

Kristin tries to instate a zero tolerance policy for gossiping/trash talking which is the most laughable thing I’ve ever seen. After a producer asks Matt if there is truth to the “mean girling,” Matt has that classic “who me?” moment and exclaims “do YOU think there is any truth to it!?!?!?”

Kristin tells Colbie she thinks she and Matt are in cahoots which means…you do not just put them together in customer service and expect things to go well. Cut to dinner with Brittainy, Kelly and Kristin which is not a trio we have seen before. Things turn sexual which how you know girls are bonding according to movies and television.

Wirth and Jay for size

Next we go to the Block Agency party which is literally the agency that represents 90% of the people on this show and where Chuy works. Chuy wears a sequin jacket and YES. Colbie and Kaylee have a chat and bury the hatchet but something tells me the drama will prevail! Jay shades Matt, as only the first husband of a company can, and I still want more Matt.

Um, not only is Kaylee UJ’s only (visible) black employee, she is also married to a woman. I like Kaylee more and more every episode.

Chuy debuts the model who flew in from NYC to “meet Kelly.” He fails to make an impression and Reagan does the best thing she’s done on the show and saves Kelly.

It has been a year since Jay played football and now he is picking up sticks in the front yard. What a beautiful juxtaposition. I feel endeared to Jay after this episode in a way I haven’t before. Next week, more drama!