Lumping the past two episodes together because...I went back to work and let's be honest, not much happens anyway.
Jay and Kristin bought their new house out in the country. YAY! Lots to pack and talk about in the kitchen while Kristin busies herself.
Uncommon James is getting into home goods and Kristin is stressed. The photoshoot is legit - I want more info on the photographer who is cooler than anyone else in the room. Shannon recaps the Reagan drama to Kristin, who has to remind her it is not about emotions and friendships it is about the BUSINESS.
The Canadian is finally coming to town and if AirBnb isn't sponsoring this episode someone in corporate sponsorships is fired. Kelly mentions her friend's AirBnb no fewer than 10 times this episode where The Canadian will be staying because, as Kelly says, they've literally never hung out. He never gets a name, which I respect.
Shannon does an impeccable impression of Kristin as she tries to prep Taylor for an interview, which she also drives her to and waits for her after? Does Taylor not drive? The earrings Shannon makes Taylor wear are sold out online in every color, FYI. Taylor mocks being prepared for an interview, which is really all you need to know about her and how successful her interview was.
Jay drops in because what else does he have to do? He has that popped collar denim jacket on again - surprised it isn't embroidered. Shannon gets butt hurt because Kristin says she isn't a great reference for Taylor and Kristin impressively says she can't have cliques and more talk about how this drama has no business being in her BUSINESS (see what I did there?).
Kelly wakes up at the AirBnb with The Canadian. We meet Reagan's mom who called it 'Common' James which I think the producers told her to do. Kristin calls an all hands on deck to squash all the beef and threatens to fire people LORD LET KRISTIN FIRE SOMEONE THIS SEASON! It's what Lisa Vanderpump would do! Fin.
JAY IS IN A BACKWARDS HAT! NEW GROUND FOR HIM!
Kristin is heading to her old stomping grounds to host Oscars events, Jay is going to drop in on the store, and asks if Kristin will pay him for watching their kids. Kids that are his.
Brittainy wears velour overalls - her first flaw in my opinion. Her BF is going on a world tour and misuses the word "dichotomy" instead of using "conundrum". They argue over BF not understanding how much goes in to opening a retail store which is 100% accurate, he just likes pushing buttons and it is their turn to have relationship issues on the carousel of couples.
Taylor proclaims she is going to marry Mike, which is convenient because later we will find out she is pregnant. Still no physical evidence of Gurney and Shannon being a couple.
Kristin looks more glamorous in her airplane outfit than I ever have. Boys night at Jay's is what I've been wanting from this show all along and never known it. He is a man of few words, until he says he wants "Nigerian dwarf goats" and his friend "has a goat guy" and I am LIVING. The goat guy, unsurprisingly, wears a bolo tie. Then they talk about the mechanics of a vasectomy while a random fourth dude walks around!?!?
Kristin has an LA condo. Does she need me to watch it for her? Keep the fridge stocked? Pip shows up and is Australian (or South African?) and is her "oldest friend" which is BS because I've seen #thehills why would she lie like that!? Probably to protect Pip which like, fine. I know LC showed up once the cameras left. She did Spencer and Heidi's podcast and says "they don't have any help" (in terms of childcare) which wasn't supposed to be condescending but I could hear the subtle cackle in her voice.
Jay drops in to the store and is useless. Kristin drops that they don't have a prenup GIRL WHO IS YOUR FINANCIAL ADVISOR!?!? Kristin hosts an event for bloggers who she wants to plug her new line and are heavy hitters. Guess my invite got lost in the world wide web.
Kristin and her publicist swiping on Tindr in the car is the most real part of the show so far. Kristin pretends to try on Oscar dresses as if the custom dress wasn't the plan all along but honey you flaunt that body trying things on!
Then we get to Taylor being pregnant after missing her work photo shoot. She passes up wine which is an OBV red flag and Shannon brings her pregnancy tests. Taylor asking what her mom would think is the only thing that indicates this wasn't completely staged. But she accepts it super quickly and they shriek and hug!? AND TAYLOR ASKS IF SHE SHOULD CALL TO TELL THE DAD????? Not the best pregnancy reveal scene. especially because we barely care about Taylor.
Kristin offers to take her team on a vacation but they will be flying on Wirth's jet and staying at Wirth's house so who is the boss in this situation? The vacation is always when the alcohol and drama go down so I cannot wait for next week!