Very Cavallari: Holiday Parties are Messy (S2E6)

Kristin and Jay can’t remember the last time they went on a date. Obviously we will now see them go on a date. Wirth is opening a gym with Tim Mcgraw and we see a promotional photoshoot happening. Apparently Brittainy is the new Kaylee because everyone hates her? Raegan talks shit about her WITH Kaylee which is rough to watch given the “journey” Kaylee has been on.

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Very Cavallari: Kristin, You're Rich (S2E5)

Kristin has a bunch of friends coming in and they are staying at their old house which hasn’t sold. I am in shock that no one has purchased their former home, which led me to read about how difficult it is to sell luxury real estate in Nashville. The list price was $7.9 and it is now listed at $6.9 million. Ouch.

Pretty sure Kristin telling Jay she wants to make a decision (Pantone colors for Little James camo) and for him to validate said decision is the secret to a long term relationship.

I’m done reporting on Stone and Brittainy until they do something worth mentioning.

Justin (her hair colorist) is a true Angelino because he is AGHAST at the size of her home. He then has a “Kristin, you’re RICH” moment that sky rockets him to my most loved list. Girl talk ensues with the Palm Springs crew. They take shots out of mini moscow mule copper cups which I obviously want and Pip procedes to get wasted. Jay is praised for taking care of the kids and picking up her call which displays the #patriarchy perfectly and Kristin is honest that they are in a rut and things are never perfect. Foreshadowing for the fight they have later this episode.

Colby is happy because she booked a show. I could not be less interested in her career outside of Uncommon James. Brittainy perfectly shows why open floor plans are a disaster because she has to go outside with Matt, in public, to clear the air with him. Matt asks if she reacts to him aggressively because he is a man, Brittainy gets triggered, the air is not clear.

Give me this drink fridge.

Give me this drink fridge.

Jay has been drinking all day and is being antisocial which displeases Kristin. Jay makes some cracks about their finances and that is when things take a turn. Jay goes to hide, comes back, and then they fight over beverages? They literally kiss and make up. Kelly talks about freezing her eggs and gets a pep talk from Biegs, the other single woman present.

Everyone goes to Colby’s show, including Stone and Brittainy, which weirds the rest of the team out.

Kristin and Jay debrief the trip and he admits he could have been better. Scenes from next week show an ex of Kelly’s who is also her client and more Brittainy drama!!!!!!!!!!!





Very Cavallari: Things Get XXX (S2E5)

We find Kristin still in Laguna, FaceTiming with Jay while strolling down the beach, as one does. She is also going to see her dad who it sounds like is somewhat isolated/estranged from her. He looks great, tbh, and they talk about Laguna Beach. Kristin apparently didn’t get a heads up she was the villain which is ironic because that’s why they brought her back to The Hills.

In the warehouse, Matt admits it is hard to keep up with inventory and the growth of the business. “Shipping is so complex” is the best statement Brittainy has ever said, right before she tells Matt he is moving to customer service and being replaced. Anticlimactic.

We learn a lot about grief as Kristin talks about how her dad is processing death, how it has set in more for Kristin since she went back home and Jay is a man of few but supportive words. The scene ends with Kristin crying which we’ve only seen as she yells about her business. This depth! I know the show is meant to be light but it’s definitely a reminder that Kristin is, in fact, just a person.

Jay is now incubating eggs now. It is a 21 day process, something I never thought I would learn from Jay Cutler. He is the perfect example of what happens when someone has too much money and too much free time and it brings me joy.

Kristin tries to instate a zero tolerance policy for gossiping/trash talking which is the most laughable thing I’ve ever seen. After a producer asks Matt if there is truth to the “mean girling,” Matt has that classic “who me?” moment and exclaims “do YOU think there is any truth to it!?!?!?”

Kristin tells Colbie she thinks she and Matt are in cahoots which means…you do not just put them together in customer service and expect things to go well. Cut to dinner with Brittainy, Kelly and Kristin which is not a trio we have seen before. Things turn sexual which how you know girls are bonding according to movies and television.

Wirth and Jay for size

Wirth and Jay for size

Next we go to the Block Agency party which is literally the agency that represents 90% of the people on this show and where Chuy works. Chuy wears a sequin jacket and YES. Colbie and Kaylee have a chat and bury the hatchet but something tells me the drama will prevail! Jay shades Matt, as only the first husband of a company can, and I still want more Matt.

Um, not only is Kaylee UJ’s only (visible) black employee, she is also married to a woman. I like Kaylee more and more every episode.

Chuy debuts the model who flew in from NYC to “meet Kelly.” He fails to make an impression and Reagan does the best thing she’s done on the show and saves Kelly.

It has been a year since Jay played football and now he is picking up sticks in the front yard. What a beautiful juxtaposition. I feel endeared to Jay after this episode in a way I haven’t before. Next week, more drama!



Very Cavallari: LA Ladies (S2E4)

We start with Colby. Girls look up to Colby because she has been with Kristin from the beginning which really means they are jealous of her and want to take her down. Jay’s solution to everything is to fire people which I have to say I am on board with. The staff speaks up about not liking Kaylee and Brittainy gets heated defending her, probably because Kaylee is the only other person who is functional on a consistent basis.

Jay offers to wing woman Kelly and I would watch that spin off dating show.

Not sorry for the butt shot

Not sorry for the butt shot

Kaylee is back and she is not falling for this “I’m cute and my outfit is worth 1k” act most of the employees are getting by on. Kristin and Brittainy head to LA for a pop up shop which means all hell is going to break loose back in Nashville. They will also be missing Cyber Monday which seems like a bad idea when things are already in tense, crying shambles.

Brittainy and Stone talk in a hat store. Out in LA, we learn pop up shop means kiosk in front of the movie theater. Jay is wearing what I can best describe as a fall camo onesie. Kristin puts Kaylee in charge via Brittainy but no one informs anyone else. Matt gets a little triggered by it. I’m ready for someone to get sent home on the spot.

Jay and Kelly meet up at a bar and have a very sweet rapport. He convinces her to join a dating app and to let him run it and set up dates for her. Am I getting the dating show I asked for!!??

Back in LA, Kristin is doing her press interviews next to the Cheesecake Factory. We are ping ponging around from location to location and it tough for me to be invested in one storyline, let alone write about it. Everyone bitches about Kaylee and says she is stepping on toes which she would not have to do IF PEOPLE DID THEIR JOBS. Enough on that.

Kristin and Brittainy have a heart to heart about partners, family and making it all work. Kristin goes to Laguna Beach on the 3 year anniversary of her brother’s death, which gets sad and emotional, and she and her friend revisit memories from high school. They end on this sad note, but scenes from next week show Chuy trying to set up Kelly and more girl drama. This is turning in to Laguna Beach: Do Your Job, I’m Running A Business.


Very Cavallari: Shipping, Shipping, Shipping (S2E3)

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Overalls Jay is my new favorite Jay - more so than jaunty vest Jay. He is really embracing the farm life with all of his landscaping!

Shipping is the theme of this season. Wirth brings in some hot dudes to do heavy lifting of the boxes that are actually full of products. If only those were the ones they were shipping. Colby is flirting which we know is going to be a disservice to her. Some light Instagram stalking tells me she’s dating the guy she is flirting with or someone who looks very similar to him. They are moving to a new warehouse and there is more flirting than working which upsets the head honchos but makes for more fun tv.

Um all of a sudden we flashback to the store manager before Brittainy named Kayley (who doesn’t get a chyron so I don’t know how it is spelled) and Kristin claims that SHE didn’t fire her HR did but girl we know you do not have an HR director!?!?! I want Kayley she is badass I do not care if people didn’t think she was “nice” enough.

This dress will never look like you’re wearing it correctly.

This dress will never look like you’re wearing it correctly.

Jay arrives at the office in a sport coat and slacks which puts everyone on notice immediately. Kelsey is already crying which is not a great sign. Kaylee (chyron makes the spelling official) shows up in the rectangle earrings they all own and a great hat. Kristin had no idea why Kaylee got fired which maybe means you should reevaluate your HR department? Anyway, Kaylee is back and I already love her. Back at the store, Jay is watching a lot of people do what comes off like not a lot.

Jay gives a solid analysis of whats happening at the office and it seems like no one is fired. Stone an Brittainy talk. Kaylee comes to the UJ cocktail party and Colby goes white. Brittainy has perma surprise face. Colby goes outside to cry and talk trash about Kaylee to an anonymous brunette about how hard her year has been. Kristin announces everyone needs to grow the F up and scenes from next week have Kaylee laying down the law like the queen she is.

Very Cavallari: Brittainy's Shoes Broke My Ankles (S2E2)

I have fallen behind and will be binging over my spring break. We are flying to Palm Springs for promotional footage and Jay does not get to go. I would be more than happy to go to Palm Springs and hang out with Kristin telling her how fab she looks at all times. They hate on Skype which must be killing Microsoft inside and continue to talk about their reverse gender roles.

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Very Cavallari: Episode #7

I have not watched the finale of this show yet because I do not want the season to be over. As a bonus though, I was just in Nashville for my Vanderbilt Reunion and of course visited the UJ store so really this post is WAY more authentic now because of my real photo.

Picking up where we left off, post booze soaked getaway sponsored by Wirth, we are back in the store which is just boxes, empty shelves and a random desk in the middle of the room. Kristin reminds Shannon that you have to post about a store opening if you want people to show up to it which is maybe why hiring from a modeling agency is not your best business strategy.

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Very Cavallari: Episode 6

I was out of the country and am behind on everything but am assuming you are behind on the show too? If you are even watching it!?

Kristin takes her team to Florida to blow off some steam before the store opens. I can't be sure, but I don't think the key to running a business is getting wasted with your employees? Neither Kristin nor I have an MBA though so who knows.

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Very Cavallari: Episodes 4 & 5

Lumping the past two episodes together because...not much ever really happens. 

Jay and Kristin bought their new house out in the country YAY! Lots to pack and talk about in the kitchen while Kristin busies herself. 

Uncommon James is getting into home goods and Kristin is stressed. The photoshoot is legit - I want more info on the photographer who is cooler than anyone else in the room. Shannon recaps the Reagan drama to Kristin, who has to remind her it is not about emotions and friendships it is about the BUSINESS. 

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Very Cavallari: Episode #3

I have some answers about where Shannon came from thanks to her Instagram "ask me anything" session last week. Someone asked how she got hired and she shared that they contacted her modeling agency looking for someone, she had a meeting, captioned some photos, and voila! So next time you need to do some hiring, forget Ziprecruiter or LinkedIn, call your local modeling agency! I didn't get a screen capture because I was on vacation so you'll have to trust me. 

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Very Cavallari: Episode #2

My entire week has been waiting for the next episode of this show. Episode one has to set the scene of characters but in episode two the conflict can really start to show itself (producers can start manipulating things).

Just from the "last week on..." I have thoughts. Kristin proclaiming that Jay "can't just sit at home" made me wonder what she did all day when she was on The Hills, because I can promise you it wasn't work. But I digress. Also very impressed at Kelly and Kristen finding that dude from Canada on Instagram, though I am sure they did that months ago and not as the cameras were on. 

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Quotable

20-somethings have the tendency to imagine that their 20s are the last chance they’re going to have to experiment, explore, and party. This is a false premise. Restaurants and cafes continue to let people over 29 through their doors. They even serve them alcohol.
— Holden Desalles

Things I Learned From: Traveling

I went to Florence and Rome over the holidays this year.  People were very excited for me, as good friends ought to be, but immediately I found myself exhausted by everyone asking me if I was excited and TELLING me how much fun I would have, as if staying home to watch all of the West Wing and try every Thai delivery place within 5 miles wouldn’t have been equally as exciting.  You HAVE to go to this gelato/pizza/pasta place.  You HAVE to!  Pretty sure I don’t have to do a goddamn thing it’s my vacation and I will sit and complain about the bad Wifi in my hotel room ALL WEEK LONG if I want to!  I also travel a lot for work so the mix of work travel and pleasure travel has led me to a few conclusions about how I function when traveling.

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